This week's featured resource

Where your attention goes, your energy flows

In my personal and professional experience, I've witnessed a massive opportunity loss in how we view these early adolescent years.  We know middle school is filled with lots of changes - like puberty, and we know that so often our own middle school or high school experiences and stories were plagued with challenges we'd rather not re-live.

But up until the last 20 years we didn't know what was really behind these changes and challenges - and how much power they truly hold.  This research and subsequent knowledge has all emerged since you and I were in middle school or junior high - so you are likely learning it, too!

I've said it before - I'll say it again: biologically, your brain is wired to help your middle schooler survive, but not thrive. So often you're focused on the fears, the deficits, the vulnerabilities because you want to protect them at all costs - this is your #1 job.

But protecting them before everything else and viewing adolescence as this terrible stage filled with only drama, pimples, mood swings, and hard times comes with a cost. Yes, these challenges are real. Yes, they are hard sometimes. But I challenge you to putting in the work during middle school as early intervention for the beliefs, relationships and skills you want them to have when they are in high school, college, and when they become adults. This is meaningful marathon, not a sprint. To support yourself and keep yourself sane you've got to practice seeing the big picture.

So, that's why in today's episode I wanted to share the Essence of Adolescence, coined from Dr. Dan Siegel. Dr. Siegel is one of my professional heroes. He's a Clinical Professor of Psychiatry at the UCLA School of Medicine and the founding co-director of the Mindful Awareness Research Center at UCLA.

When I read about his 'Essence of Adolescence' I wish every parent could receive this information, so that you can shift your perspective around the purpose of early adolescence - and the power contained within these years for both you and your middle schooler.

And, in this perspective big-picture shift, you have more awareness and compassion when sh*t hits the fan and you want to rip your hair out. There is greater purpose underneath daily challenges your adolescent goes through.

Once you start paying attention to your own mind and how's it's thinking about these middle school years, you see the various walls you've put up.

Venture out into your day, and ask yourself: Am I paying attention to the problems or the challenges of this time in my child's life?

Remember: where your attention goes, energy flows. If you're only noticing are the challenges and fears, then that is what you'll experience.  How we navigate early adolescence as a parent and a kid has a direct impact on how we experience the rest of our lives.

In this week's episode we talk about:

• Emotional spark
• Social engagement
• Novelty
• Creative exploration 

People, places, and things mentioned in the episode:

• Daniel J. Siegel, M.D. book: Brainstorm

Like what you hear? Keep listening to the Elevated Adolescence Podcast