Perfect parenting is for the birds

Before we dive into today's topic, I want to share some exciting things happening with Elevated Adolescence!

#1: For any Boulder / Denver families: Middle School Prep Camp Registration is officially OPEN. This is an experience for your soon-to-be middle schooler like no other. Summer day camp meets confidence and connection seminar. An experience where they leave with the confidence, connections, and skills they need to start their middle school years.  Head to https://www.elevatedadolescence.com/middle-school-prep-camp to register and find out what previous campers thought about the experience. 

#2: We've got exciting things in store in the coming months for all our listeners. New guests, experts, parent questions, a 12-day Challenge, Masterclasses, and more. I'll have tons of resources to give away for those listening, so be sure to tune in each week.

All right, so, I'm calling episodes like this REAL TALK. I'm going to be doing an episode of REAL TALK every month, which will be bite-sized, live-action coaching for many of the real challenges I'm seeing for parents today. Today's episode is for any parents stuck in the coulda, shoulda, woulda's. In other words, the shame cycle.

Today's culture of parenting breeds this idea of perfect, ideal parenting.

If this is you, you're not the only one. But it's a trap that exists to make us feel less than, searching for the answers that are "out there" instead of looking within.

Newsflash. There is no ideal. There is the best you that you can be, moment to moment. The best me I could be yesterday evening was different from the best me I could be this morning. So, doing your best each moment of each day depends on so many factors.

• How you start your day.

• How well you slept.

• What's happening in your kids' lives.

• Traffic.

• How you're feeling physically.

• How much emotional baggage you're carrying around.

• The relationship you have with your mom, your dad, your siblings.

• Your relationship to the news.

• Your relationship to garlic, nightshades, dairy... maybe that's just me.

Seriously...The list goes on and on and on.

Since the list of things that affect you is so long, you doing your best is truly a moment-to-moment process. And within those moments you have many emotions, many thoughts, and feelings. It's time to stop limiting your own human experience.

One way you do this is by making a sweeping statement about how you are as a parent based on a challenge you're experiencing. This could sound like:

"I've failed. I just wish I would've done something different back then so she wouldn't have to go through this."

Or...

"I just know better. I have the tools to get calm and I didn't use them. I just don't want my kids to be scarred from my anger like I was from my Dad.

Do you hear the coulda, shoulda, woulda? The summarizing and diminishing? The shame spiral?

It's time to jump off the shame spiral of despair, parents. Listen to the full episode to see why this matters to you and your middle schooler.

Like what you hear? Keep listening to the Elevated Adolescence Podcast