Self-love during early adolescence is a gateway to healthy relationshps

I have been reading a book on boundaries and it has been blowing my mind. I talk a lot about the importance of boundaries with your adolescent, but this book is bringing it to a whole new level for me. Page by page I am seeing all of the ways I didn't have boundaries with myself or for myself and through that process I am coming back to me. I am noticing the ways that this impacts all parent / early adolescent relationships, too. It's life-changing stuff.

I want that for you too. 

So today, my wise-beyond-her-years right hand woman, Riley and I talk about boundaries and self-love and what we learned in these areas from our own parents. 

In this conversation, we talk about things from selflessness being a double-edged sword, the discomfort of learning to love oneself, how our parents' behavior laid the foundation for our emotional selves, and what we still have to untangle from those years. 

This is an important one, parents. Not just for you and your parenting journey, but also for your middle schooler because as I've said before, it all starts with you!

Take a look at today's talking points

[1:30] The importance of setting boundaries to maintain a sense of self and still have your needs met in order to show up more fully in your relationship with your middle schooler. Nancy Levin says a boundary is where I end and you begin.

[3:00] What our parents did right and how they loved themselves and what that taught us. Riley talks about the selflessness her mother had and how that could be a double-edged sword.

[5:30] The importance of giving from a full cup and the difference between having boundaries with others vs boundaries with self.

[8:50] The foundation that our parents have set, shows up in our adult lives and how do we begin to untangle that?

[10:45] Ashley talks about the ways she has not honored herself throughout her life and that it's never too late to learn a lesson. Mid-life brings a refreshing perspective on self-expression and how that plays into motherhood.

[12:52] Breaking the pattern of expecting something outside of yourself to fill your cup and how to turn that attention inwards and be able to fulfill yourself first.

[13:20] Parents are their kids' greatest teachers. It really doesn't matter what you say or all the lessons you talk about, it matters what you do, how you show up, and how you treat yourself. Ashley talks about her own experience with her mom's lessons and what she wishes she would do for herself instead.

[18:40] Breaking through our own critical voice and connecting to self through body and movement. Our bodies and our health are our reason for existence, the fact that we are here at all is proof of our own worth.

[26:00] Simply practicing self-love without it feeling cheesy. Self-love can show up in many different ways and looks different for everyone.

People, places, and things mentioned in the episode:

• Book: Setting Boundaries Will Set You Free by Nancy Levin

Like what you hear? Keep listening to the Elevated Adolescence Podcast