Build the skill of confidence

I've heard from so many parents lately that their #1 concern with their middle schoolers is plummeting confidence. COVID has really done a number on some social skills and isolation, during a stage that can already be riddled with self-doubt.

How can they feel confident when they've never experienced these kinds of relationships?

When they're expected to be strong in skills they've never had to practice?

When some are introverted and expected to be extroverted to be liked, or some are extroverted but too much to be included?

True, authentic confidence is an inside-out process.  A lot of people think it's from achieving something or having something external: the grade, the gadget, the outfit. But the truth is that those things don't mean anything if you're not confident on the inside. Confidence is also rooted in trust. If you don't trust yourself or the unknown, you won't appear confident in social settings, school, or extracurricular.

So, for today's episode, I give you 3 little-known insights into how to help your middle schooler build authentic confidence.

Take a look into today's talking points:

1. Accept what you don't know, and who you AREN'T.

Encourage your kid to celebrate their strengths, and acknowledge when they don't understand something - and that's ok!

2. Be intentional with images of attractiveness, strength, and ability you project, reinforce and express.

They are getting A LOT of information about what it means to be beautiful, strong, handsome - attractive. What you can control is how you show up at home.

3. Engage in meaningful projects together

The idea here is to get outside of your own self, expose your kid to a world or experiences beyond their bubble as they work towards something.

A final word: I notice many tweens and middle schoolers 'try on' different perspectives. They may try something, leave it alone, come back to it, shed some concerns or tears, and come back to it again. This is normal. It won't be a straight upward trajectory at all times.

Many are experimenting with what feels right and testing out their own perceptions. Remember the practice you build at home is their greatest teacher and within their control. Be the grounding force and influence. Don't give up if they go through periods of insecurity. Become aware on your own and be consistent in your practice.

Remember: parenting a middle schooler is not for the faint of heart, but you were made for each other. If you commit to showing up each day for yourself and for them, your lives will change for the better.

Like what you hear? Keep listening to the Elevated Adolescence Podcast