This week's featured freebies

There are no bad emotions, it's what you do with them that matters

So many adolescents and adults are experiencing a rise in anxiety, these last couple of years as we have been in a constant state of fight or flight. Not knowing the future, or ruminating on the past causes our anxiety, and over the last few years, our brains have been trained to be more anxious. And for an adolescent's developing brain, that's a big deal.

You've heard me say it several times on this podcast, but if you're just listening for the first time you must understand: in early adolescence, the emotional center of your kid's brain - their amygdala - is in charge.

If you haven't listened to my Executive Function 101 episode I highly suggest you take a listen here, as it will help you understand what's going on in your kid's brain.

Now, if you have one take-away from this episode, it's this:

One of the key pieces to your job as the parent of an early adolescent is to help decode these emotions and their impact on their mind and behavior.

So, to get ahead of it and decode and regulate ourselves more often than not, I've got a simple 3-step process for you to decode anxiety with your early adolescent.

Take a look at today's talking points

Step 1: Dig into what they're communicating.

• See beneath the surface of the behavior. Anger is really fear. Resistance might be perfectionism hiding.

• This is the step to practice keeping an open, non-judgemental mind.

Step 2: Open the doors of communication:

• Your kid will likely never say, "I have anxiety". Instead, it manifests as behavior or physical sensations like a racing heart, sweaty palms, distractibility, avoidance, rebellion, or resistance.

• The RELATE Method is your friend! I created this to guide parents on how to keep the lines of communication open.

• Your kid might not be opening up because they don't feel seen or understood.

• Why "getting in through the back-door" is key with adolescents

Step 3: Transform the anxiety

• They can train their brain to change their relationship to anxiety and to see it as fuel for greater energy, excitement, or courage.

• Repetition and consistency are key.

• The importance of post-traumatic growth and how to guide them through it

This modeling of how to decode anxiety matters to them, and they are paying attention. This is how you both build resilience, growth, and become strong anxiety decoders over time.

People, places, things mentioned in the episode:

• Joseph LeDeux - Neuroscientist

• Dr. Shefali - clinical psychologist and wisdom teacher

• Executive Function 101 episode 

• The RELATE Method (weekly featured freebie) 

This is episode is a small snapshot of what I offer in Middle School Success for Parents and if it spoke to you, find out more about the course. Mark your calendars because registration opens on March 28th!

Like what you hear? Keep listening to the Elevated Adolescence Podcast