Why It’s Time to Redefine Your Relationship with Time, Energy, and “Doing It All”
Why It’s Time to Redefine Your Relationship with Time, Energy, and “Doing It All”
Let’s be real—May is madness.
Between end-of-year school events, summer planning, work deadlines, and the emotional rollercoaster of parenting a tween or teen, it’s no wonder so many of us feel like we’re drowning in logistics, expectations, and overwhelm.
And the worst part?
We’ve been sold the lie that this is just “how it is.” That busy means worthy. That if we’re not hustling, we’re somehow falling behind.
But here’s what I need you to hear, especially right now:
You were never meant to do it all. And you certainly weren’t meant to do it all alone.
Time & Energy Management Starts with Identity, Not a Planner
This blog is part one of a three-part series on building executive function skills for teens and parents alike—starting with time and energy management.
Now before you roll your eyes and think, “Great, another productivity tip,”—pause.
Because this isn’t about squeezing more into your already jam-packed schedule.
This is about asking a deeper question:
What’s my relationship with being busy?
We love to blame the calendar, but the real shift starts inside.
Inside how you see yourself.
Inside what you believe is required to be “enough.”
Inside your deeply ingrained wiring about proving your worth through doing.
We’ve Been Duped (And We’re Still Recovering)
We inherited stories.
If you’re a woman, you may have been sold the 1950s fantasy of being endlessly pleasant, self-sacrificing, thin, organized, and always available.
If you’re a man, you may have been taught to suppress emotions and carry the weight of provision without cracking.
Now? We’re parenting teens—while many of us are going through perimenopause or midlife transitions—while trying to stay connected, calm, and present.
And no one gave us a guidebook.
What If You’re Over functioning to Avoid Feeling?
This hit me like a freight train a few years ago.
I realized I wasn’t just “busy”—I was using busyness to avoid discomfort:
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Avoiding grief
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Avoiding vulnerability
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Avoiding asking for help
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Avoiding slowing down enough to hear what I actually needed
Sound familiar?
As James Clear writes in Atomic Habits,
Behavior change is identity change.
So if we want more time, more energy, and more peace—we have to let go of the identity that being busy = being valuable.
A Real-Life Shift: Unsubscribing from Burnout
Just this week, I pushed back my podcast release. Normally, it drops Tuesday. But this week, I chose rest over hustle. I chose time with my kids over proving I’m consistent to an algorithm. I chose to model what I teach.
And I want you to hear this clearly:
You have permission to unsubscribe from burnout culture.
You are allowed to:
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Say no.
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Ask for help.
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Miss the email.
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Show up late.
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Choose ease.
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Be gentle.
None of that makes you lazy. It makes you intentional.
What Happens When You Make This Shift?
When you stop overcompensating…
When you stop rushing…
When you stop treating your worth like a never-ending to-do list…
You get access to something radical: presence.
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Presence with yourself
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Presence with your teen
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Presence in the moments that actually matter
This isn’t about giving up on ambition.
It’s about choosing alignment over overexertion.
Reflection: What’s Your Relationship to Time?
Take a moment to ask yourself:
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What do I believe I have to prove by staying busy?
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How often do I avoid rest by calling it “productivity”?
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What would it look like to honor my energy—not ignore it?
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What example am I setting for my teen around stress and time?
These questions aren’t fluffy. They’re foundational.
Because you can’t teach your teen executive function—like time and energy management—if you’re running on fumes and resentment.
So, What Now?
You don’t need to overhaul your life overnight.
You just need to start noticing.
🌱 Where are you over-functioning?
🌱 Where can you pause instead of push?
🌱 Where can you ask for help instead of powering through?
When you start showing up with intention—not urgency—your entire home shifts.
Your teen learns that slowing down isn’t failure.
It’s wisdom.
It’s strength.
It’s leadership.
And like it or not—you are a leader.
In your family. In your home. In your life.
✨ Ashley
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