45: Reset Series (Part 1 of 3): The Three Selves — Self-Awareness
If you’ve ever found yourself stuck in a thought loop…
replaying the same worries, reacting in ways you wish you hadn’t, or feeling like you know what to do but just can’t seem to do it—this episode is for you.
This is Part 1 of the Reset Series, where we’re beginning with the foundation of everything I teach: The Three Selves.
And today, we’re starting with Self-Awareness.
Because here’s what’s really going on…
Most parents aren’t lacking information.
They’re overwhelmed, dysregulated, and disconnected from themselves in the moments that matter most.
And no amount of strategies can bridge that gap without this first step.
What We Explore in This Episode
- Why you can’t think your way out of a thought loop
- The real reason there’s a gap between knowing and doing
- What self-awareness actually is (and what it’s not)
- How your internal state shapes your parenting in real time
- The “micro moment” between trigger and response—and how to expand it
- Why self-awareness is one of the most powerful tools you can build as a parent
A New Way to Understand Self-Awareness
Self-awareness isn’t just knowing your preferences or personality.
It’s the ability to notice what’s happening inside of you—without immediately judging or fixing it.
It sounds simple. But it’s a practice.
It looks like:
- “Huh… I’m feeling triggered right now.”
- “I’m noticing I’m telling myself they’re being lazy.”
- “My body feels tight. There’s tension here.”
Not changing it.
Not analyzing it.
Just noticing.
This is where everything begins.
Why This Matters in Parenting
When your teen pushes back, shuts down, or doesn’t follow through…
That moment isn’t just about their behavior.
It’s also about:
- The story your mind starts telling
- The sensations rising in your body
- The reaction building underneath the surface
And in that tiny space between what happens and how you respond…
there is choice.
Self-awareness helps you expand that space.
Because behavior is not the problem.
Behavior is information.
And your ability to stay present with yourself is what allows you to respond instead of react.
The Shift
Without self-awareness:
- We react
- We personalize
- We spiral into guilt or shame
With self-awareness:
- We notice
- We create space
- We choose how we show up
Nothing has gone wrong if you’ve been reacting.
This makes sense.
This is simply where the work begins.
Looking Ahead
In Part 2, we’re building on this foundation with Self-Regulation—
where I’ll walk you through a simple, practical somatic tool you can use in real time.
Because awareness is the first step…
but regulation is what allows you to do something with it.
A Gentle Reflection
The next time you feel triggered, instead of asking:
“What do I do right now?”
Try asking:
“What’s happening inside of me right now?”
And just notice.
That’s enough to begin.
If You Want Support Applying This
If you’re listening to this and thinking, “I understand this… but I don’t know how to actually do it in the moment”—you’re not alone.
This is exactly why I created the May Reset Workshop.
It’s a guided experience where I walk you through:
- How to move from overwhelm to steadiness
- How to apply self-awareness and regulation in real life
- How to navigate busy, high-pressure seasons (like the end of the school year) with more ease and intention
You can access the full workshop + bundle here:
https://www.theteenageguide.com/offers/w6qEaHbj/checkout
This isn’t about fixing anything.
It’s about supporting you as you learn how to show up in a way that feels more grounded, more connected, and more like yourself.
If this episode resonated, share it with a parent who’s in the thick of it too.
You’re not behind. You’re in it. And you’re learning how to lead from steadiness.
And that changes everything.
