Why Clearing Emotional Clutter Matters for Your Middle Schooler
Yes, you're going to "Marie Kondo" your life!
Okay, parents, it's time to do some 2021 clutter clearing. No, I'm not talking about the million things you've been meaning to organize or that over-stuffed closet of yours. I'm talking about your LIFE. All of those things in your life that are taking up mental and emotional space? Yeah, it's time to let that go.
It was a Wednesday back in June of 2014. I had just had my second child, and my days were filled with nursing, changing diapers, playing 'baby', snuggles & building forts. My physical space was chaotic. Oh, the laundry! It's comical now, but I thought to myself "This is a perfect time to add more to my plate and start a coaching program!" But, in all seriousness, I thought while everyone napped, I could focus on myself and my career.
During one of my first calls with my coach, she told me "You're going to clear some clutter." This was music to my ears. My house was a mess and I needed some motivation to organize.
Wrong. What my coach meant was that I was going to clear some clutter in my life. My first thought was "What the heck is she talking about clutter in my life?" But she went on to ask me:
"What's taking up mental and emotional space that you're putting off clearing?"
Do you need to pay anyone back?
Do you need to return something you borrowed?
Or perhaps you need to follow through on something you keep saying you're gonna do?
Is there anyone you need to forgive?
Or apologize to?
And suddenly a chord was struck. Wow, ok. Maybe she was on to something. My mind began to race thinking of all the emotional clutter I was carrying around with me, that I didn't even see it as something that needed to be cleared out in the first place. But it made so much sense. All of these things that I let pile up emotionally and mentally were holding me back from moving forward in other areas of my life.
At this point, you may be thinking that's all nice and wonderful, but what does this have to do with elevating your adolescent? Well, let me tell you, it's just the beginning. If you're looking for a quick fix to strengthen your relationship with your adolescent you won't find it here. But you will find the steps you need to take. Whatever it is that you wish for your middle schooler you have to demonstrate yourselves, first.
You apologize for something...they learn to be accountable.
You return a borrowed book...they learn responsibility.
You forgive someone...they learn grace and vulnerability.
Remember, you are their greatest teacher.
I would bet you've got some stuff taking up mental and emotional space that you're putting off. And, if this is the case, I'd also bet it's leading to feelings like overwhelm and anxiety.
It's time to look in the mirror, grab that journal, and brain dump all the things you need to take care of. And tell your middle schooler what you're doing along the way.
You're modeling the exact qualities you want them to have. And, you're making the world better along the way.
If you like this share it with a friend who needs this. And you can always watch the video version on my YouTube channel.
And never forget: middle schoolers are the most unstoppable, compassionate humans on the planet. They are exactly what the world needs. Until next week, be well!
~Ashley Chandler
Founder, Elevated Adolescence
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