Understanding the Adolescent Brain

How many times in a day do you ask yourself, “What is my middle schooler thinking?” They likely want to spend less time with you and there are other forces at work (starts with P and ends with U-B-E-R-T-Y). If you don’t know what’s going on for them developmentally it’s hard to know what’s “normal” or not.

Well I’m here to help you understand what’s going on in the adolescent brain in a way that makes sense for parents and middle schoolers.

When you’re done reading this, instead of feeling confused, angry, or in conflict, you will feel compassion and enthusiasm for the opportunities happening in the adolescent brain.

This week’s topic is a little meatier so if you’d rather watch the video version you can do so here.

Really quick, let’s go over the most important parts of the adolescent brain during development.

First is the part of the brain that is located at the back of the head right where the skull meets the neck. It’s what has been coined the ‘Reptilian brain' and is the brain stem and spinal cord. It’s responsible for all the unconscious controls like your heartbeat, food digestion, and breathing in and out. 

Second is the ‘emotional center' of the brain (the Amygdala & Hippocampus), which sits at the internal middle of the brain and controls your emotions and memory.

Third (and most important developmentally during adolescence) is the cortex. This is the biggest part of the brain and what people typically think of when imagining a brain. The cortex is basically responsible for all the essential skills like critical thinking, judgement, impulse control, time-management, organization and so on. 

Now let’s go over the most important things to know about the adolescent brain.

The brain develops in stages...

...and will continue to develop until they’re in their early 20s. Since the 90s scientists have begun to understand that what’s happening in the middle school brain is the second biggest transformation the brain will go through in their life (the first being the first few years of life).

During middle school, the adolescent brain is under construction!

Specifically, the prefrontal cortex (right behind the top of the forehead) responsible for all those executive functions and essential skills I mentioned above.

With all that’s going on developmentally, it’s important to remember there’s a perfectly good reason your middle schooler might feel more emotional or might have less impulse control or ability to organize. The part of the brain responsible for these skills (prefrontal cortex) is under MAJOR construction and has not fully developed. In those moments of frustration, remind yourself that your adolescent may be having trouble because parts of their brain are still developing and they physically aren't capable of some things, YET.  

Think of their brain like a garden you must tend to and care for. In gardening, as many of you know, you prune away the dead branches and flowers so energy can go to new areas and new life can grow. This is essentially what’s happening in the prefrontal cortex of the brain during middle school.

Neurons are being pruned that aren’t used (the dead flowers), and the ones that are used are being strengthened. You may have heard the phrase: “Neurons that fire together wire together”. In other words, the behaviors, skills, and habits that are given the most attention during the pruning process will stick with your kid into adulthood. THIS is why it’s so important to practice essential skills now and wire their brain with the right pathways of information. 

It is a million times harder to rewire the brain when you’re an adult.

The emotional center of the brain is ‘in charge’ during adolescence

Because of this it means middle schoolers are making judgments and decisions based on emotion first. As their prefrontal cortex develops more this will change but until then they will be emotionally charged as we know most teenagers to be. This is also why a lack of impulse control, increased drama, and communication breakdowns occur. 

Pro-tip: Parents, if you connect emotionally with your middle schooler first, then you’ll be able to help them get back to the ‘logical brain’ (prefrontal cortex) and strengthen essential skills and executive functions. Remind your middle schooler of what their brain is doing and to have compassion for themselves.

In my post about self-regulation, I talk all about how to get back to calm and control in those emotional states.

So, parents, I hope this is helpful in understanding what’s going on in the adolescent brain and that it leads to more compassion and connection for yourselves and each other.

That’s all for this week! If you liked this, please remember to share with other parents who could benefit from the information.

And never forget: middle schoolers are the most unstoppable, compassionate humans on the planet and are exactly what the world needs.

Until next time ~ 

Ashley Chandler

CEO & Founder of Elevated Adolescence