What is Motivation and How to Get it Going

How many times have you thought: if only I had learned this when I was younger ,I would’ve saved so much time and suffering! 

That’s why I’m here. 

I believe giving middle schoolers essential life skills will elevate them to a brighter, more fulfilling future and they will change our world for the better.  

We’re nearing the end of 2020, people. What a year - hello! COVID fatigue, anyone? 

So, this week is all about how to keep up your motivation to DO THOSE THINGS when you may feel a little blah.

Step #1: Connect to Your "Why"

Here’s the thing about motivation; it’s mostly an emotional journey. 

For middle schoolers, they are primarily driven by their social and emotional brain. To get motivated, help them get connected with what they love. They may be feeling blah about school because it’s not fun at the moment.  Everything is on technology and that social part of them is just not being fed. I get it (and I know you parents do too)! 

There is always a list of things that need to get done, like a big project or a hard conversation to have. And, you might be thinking “What’s the point?”

That's when you know it’s time to connect to your why. 

What gets you excited? Maybe it’s your dog, maybe it’s nature, maybe it’s art, or theater. Your family? Whatever it is matters because it’s yours.

I bet you can follow the thread of your why from the dreaded "to-do" you need to get done to something or someone you love.

For example: 

I didn’t feel much motivation to work today. I’m exhausted and still feeling low from last week’s decision to not go visit my family for the holidays.

But I sat down and thought about my why. I love helping early adolescents and you, the parents. I love connecting with people. I don’t love accounting, but if I don’t manage my finances, then I don’t have a business and I wouldn't be doing this work.  I have a resistance to accounting and sometimes it's what gets in the way of my motivation. But when I reconnect to my why (so many good things) then I have an easier time of just doing the darn thing and crunching some numbers because it get's me closer to fulfilling my why. So replace accounting with something you need to do but you're dreading and follow it back to your why. 

Step #2: Get Into Action 

The hardest part is before you start. You’re waiting around for a burst of energy that’s never going to come until you get started. It’s that simple.

Once you connect to your why, then you can evaluate how and what needs to happen. 

The same goes for your middle schooler. Are they overwhelmed by a project, a test, a big assignment or an unhealthy relationship with a friend? It's easy to want to figure out how to solve the problem before putting yourself out there, right? We all want to know the answers before doing the work. It's common for your adolescent to just feel blah and want to bypass the things that aren’t interesting to them. 

I’m afraid there’s no shortcut to feeling fulfilled or confident, though. It just doesn’t work that way. That road to fulfillment is paved with things we feel are ‘pointless’ or in our way or that make us a little vulnerable. But, rest assured, there are lessons to be learned through these challenges and you and your kid are very, very worth it.

You just have to put one foot in front of the other. I realize it sounds trite, but it's a saying for a reason. When you take the first step and all the other steps will become clearer. Easier.

So this week when the to-do list feels challenging, remember motivation is really an emotional journey. The sooner you can tap into the emotion you or your middle schooler want to feel then the sooner you do the thing that needs to be done, and the sooner you can feel mentally, physically, and spiritually strong. Doesn't that sound fantastic?

That's all I've got for this week! You can find me taking my own advice and finding the motivation to do some accounting. You can also watch this as a video and show your kids, your family or other parents who need to hear this. 

And never forget: middle schoolers are the most unstoppable, compassionate humans on the planet and are exactly what the world needs. Until next week, be well!  

~Ashley Chandler 

CEO & Founder of Elevated Adolescents