Top 3 Essential Tips to Prep for Middle School

The other day I had a parent ask me with tears in her eyes: How do I keep my new middle schooler engaged in online learning when I’m so busy on a normal day? This is such a huge transition and I feel helpless… 

And, my heart broke for her and every other parent out there who feels this way - especially during this time. 

And, it broke for all you middle schoolers too.  There’s no way to sugar coat this time - it’s a challenge - and it’s going to be chaotic because there are so many unknowns! 

 So, I wanted to kick-off this blog with a little motivational news for all you parents and students. My company and I created a YouTube channel for Elevated Adolescence to support and boost confidence in parents and kids as they transition into middle school through video!

I’m still calling it Ask Ashley and you can consider it your weekly dose of inspiration with actionable tips and tools that you can apply TODAY. You can check it out here.

Today I’m going to focus on the top 3 things you need to implement right away to maintain the right energy, mindset and motivation in your home. I’m going to be giving you an easy and condensed version so let’s get into it! 

TIP #1: Mindset 

If you don’t know Carol Dweck’s growth mindset research, then you need to sprint (don’t walk), and start learning about it. You wont regret it! A mindset is how you think and it can make all the difference in how you experience your world. Think of your mindset as a lens you see everything through.

Carol Dweck coined the term “growth mindset” and it's essential to successful learning. She also pioneered the word “yet” as it relates to mindset, and I always say this to my students. You just haven’t learned it YET. You do not have a set intelligence, your mind is always growing and learning.

Parents, I want you to take a pause and really ask yourself what kind of mindset YOU have going into the school year.  Have you set realistic goals and expectations for yourself and your kid? Are you bringing a mindset of positivity and forgiveness? Or are you bringing a mindset of struggle and dread?

 I had a friend say to me this morning: we shouldn’t be setting 2019 goals during this 2020 pandemic year. So true. 

There are also many kinds of mindsets that support your students learning and growth.  A few of my favorites during this time: 

The mindset of grace - assuming positive intent at every twist and turn.  This takes the pressure off of them, their teachers, and you.

The mindset of doing my best - this can look different each and every day.  But every day you’re going to show up, own your shortcomings, take care of yourself and try hard. 

TIP #2: Having the right systems 

 Your new middle schooler needs the right mindset, and they also need the right systems.  You don’t want them relying on you for everything, and you want to help them cross the bridge to more independence.  

This will involve you helping them (& modeling) the right systems.

These include: 

Technology (Organized Files in Drive, Email and Desktop - labeled by Class)

Desk / Workspace (Are their desks clean, well lit, have fresh air nearby, with minimal distractions?) If not, help them get set up! 

Class specific organization. Each teacher will have their own preferred method. Here’s how you cut through that clutter and make things make sense for your student: 

Get a folder and notebook for each class.  Each class is the SAME color.  Research shows that when we organize according to color we strengthen the neurological connections so that our brain doesn’t have to do as much ‘work’ next time in remembering where things ‘go’. Science is blue, History is green, etc.

TIP #3: Use a calendar/schedule 

Listen, Middle School (regardless of being virtual this year) is the PRIME time to boost these essential skills like executive function, a strong mindset and more.  The best thing you can do is to help them get set up, and model the right system and behavior yourself (instead of preaching to them)

The final tip I have today is to help them set up their online calendar.  This could be in a Google Spreadsheet, or in their Google Calendar.  Each day needs to have the class listed with links in the description to their Zoom meeting (and color coded according to their class color)

Within that calendar description, have them list the project due - then practice breaking apart the assignment into smaller tasks.

You’ve heard me mention modeling the right system yourself.  One example would be a ‘talk aloud’

“I’m going to make a sandwich for lunch. Hmmm I need bread, turkey, mustard. Now, I need a knife.” (And, don’t say -hey, I’m modeling something for you! That defeats the purpose)

Practice these three tips during this middle school transition, and remember to give yourself the mindset of grace.

Conclusion

When I relayed this information to my friend (along with some material I’d created), her eyes dried, she took some deep breaths and dropped her shoulders. 

“Thank you thank you thank you.  I feel so much better; less overwhelmed!” That’s why I’m here for her, and all of you.

I’ve created a free downloadable pdf that can help you with these tips. You can access it here. Feel free to share this with any other parent you know will find it helpful!

And, never forget to be you, be kind, and be limitless. You deserve it! Until next week…